The Eyes Have It

A few weeks ago I made my occasional "annual" visit to the eye doctor. Being the non-doctor person that I am, I would have preferred to save it for some non-existent future time, but I had already had the appointment for three months, and I was tired of dreading it. Besides, so far, I am a seeing person, and I would like to stay that way. With a family history of diabetes and glaucoma and cataracts, and with a personal history of a pterygium ...well, the eyes have it, so off I went to visit Dr. Chang.

I can still read a road sign long before anyone else even sees the thing, but when it comes to reading, sewing, knitting, writing, all the close-up stuff that I love to do, well...forget the heck out of that, unless I wear my glasses. And getting out a splinter...? Can't even do that with the glasses. They are just beginner glasses from MoreMart, but still.

At this point I have about six pairs of the things. One in my purse, one in the car, one in the other car, one at the computer, one at the desk, one on the night table. That's where they are supposed to be, and you'd think with that many pairs of glasses floating around, one might show up when called for. But can I ever find one? Rarely. When I finally do manage to find them, they pinch my head, they pull my hair, they get in my way, and I forget to look through them, trying instead to look around them. What a nuisance. One more perk of getting old.

But Dr. Chang loved my eyes! His Girl Friday got them prepped and droppered and dilated before he came in for his look, and after scanning her notes he asked me if I had had lasik surgery, causing me to shudder and gasp. "NO WAY!" The mere thought of someone poking around in my eyes, to say nothing of cutting and slicing on them...Well, I cannot begin to express the CREEPS that gives me!!!! So Dr. Chang was incredulous that I might see as well as I do without having the surgery, but the thing is, I don't think I see all that well. I did for a long, long time, but once I hit "that age"... things sorta started falling apart: fuzzy words and blurry letters, itching eyes, and seeing things as though through tinted windows. Of course, there's no knowing what sorts of eye horrors he has seen, so to him anything may look good.

In any case, I've made myself a note, for next time I start worrying about my eyes, to remember Dr. Chang's parting words: "I'll see you next year. Or maybe in two years." So, whaddya know, after all the dread, Eye'm perfect! ...at least my eyes are...at least in Dr. Chang's obviously imperfect eyes...