The Fine Print

Shouts of "DO WE GET A REFUND???" provided a welcome interruption to the tedium of malingering at the end of the long, slow line to check in for our flight to Jamaica. A quick glance around the terminal revealed the source: a knot of women chattering excitedly as they frantically waved their passport-card-bearing hands around.

It did not take long to learn that these women would not be taking their long-anticipated, eagerly-awaited vacation in Jamaica, because when they applied for their passports they opted to save $35 by going with the $65 passport card rather than the $100 passport book.

All but one of the women walked away, to the general murmur of sympathy among the rest of the passengers. Consensus: It wasn't their fault. WAAAAH! It should have been explained to them that the card is good only for cruises and for driving acroxx into Canada or Mexico.

My mind floated back to the day I saw the question on my passport application: Card? Or Book? I DON"T KNOW!!!! And nobody explained it to me, either. The difference between me and them was...I asked. And I guess their friend asked, too, because she was the lone one in the group with a book passport and no compunction about going on to Jamaica without them.

My best advice is: Read the fine print. And if you can't make it out, ask. Because the vacation you save may be your own.

Signs of Jamaica

Traffic signs:

• ARRIVE ALIVE, DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.
• PROTECT YOUR HEAD, DON'T END UP DEAD, illustrated by a picture of a motorcycle going off in one direction while its rider takes a conk on his helmeted head.
• SPEED KILLS. DON'T BE IN A HURRY TO ENTER ETERNITY.
• KEEP FATALITIES DOWN. DRIVE, RIDE, AND WALK GOOD.
• GIVE WAY = Yield.

Other road signs:

• Only fools break safety rules.
• Children our future - Watch out for them on the road.
• NO SMOKIN ~ We thought at first that the "G" had fallen off, but on second thought...Maybe not?
  
• Have a COOL day.
• PROUD TO BE JAMAICAN ~ A caricature of a horse head saying "Yeh, Mon."
  

Billboards:

• Spruce up Jamaica. Nice up Yourself ~ Some sort of tourist promotion?
• My Life Soon Set with Lotto.
  

Business names:

• Stronger for Longer ~ Name of a battery store.
• Choice Cut for Choosy People ~ Deli, grocery, meat store.
• Haberdashery ~ I'm not sure I've ever even seen a haberdashery store, but in Jamaica they abound, a holdover, I suppose, from their recent British past.
• Liquor and Ice Cream ~ The store with something for everybody.
• Long and Strong ~ A party store.
• FDR ~ Franklyn D Resort.
  
• Art's Car Park ~ I saw several of these, kinda like a chain business. I never could figure out if it was a parking lot or a car dealer, but at least it rhymes.
• Devon House I Scream, Devon House I Cream ~ The Baskin-Robbins of Jamaica, I'm guessing.

And, the WINNER! Seen at a gas station:

• NO NAKED LIGHTS = "No Smoking."