Say AAAHHHHH! Part 2

I believe in allowing my fearfully-and-wonderfully-made self every opportunity to heal itself. Alas, I am aware that we live in a fallen world, and despite the Perfect Design, sin sometimes gets the upper hand. So, after suffering through four days of rock-swallowing pain, yesterday I conceded and went to The Doctor. That is a big, big deal for me. Fortunately, I was able to get an appointment with Dr. K, so that made things better before I even got there.

The Good News: Throat is nice and pink, ears and nose and lungs clear. This eliminates strep, pneumonia, TB, and a host of other respiratory undesirables. Dr. K cannot find a single thing wrong with me, so he wants to write me up in the medical journals, because:

The Bad News: I have the most severely painful sore throat, I can't swallow and I can't spit, and I keep coughing up crap, although . . . hhmmmm . . . come to think of it, that has lightened up considerably since I started washing out my head with the neti pot.

The Good News: Dr. K believes me, and he has a suspicion of what might be causing my pain (hemosomethingorother). And, he knows the perfect antibiotic to take care of it.

The Bad News: This antibiotic is distantly related to another one which is distantly related to penicillin, and I am allergic to penicillin. Oh, and it tastes vile. According to Dr. K, "If you don't get this good and all the way down, you will be tasting it for the next 12 hours."

The Good News: "Nine out of ten 'pen-allergics' can take this drug with no ill effects, but if you react badly to it, we'll try something else." Well, that's great for the Nine. I hope I am one of them.

The Bad News: I could be the One. But I am desperate.

The Good News: They have generic.

The Bad News: The generic costs $67!!!

The Good News: I have $67.

The Bad News: Not anymore I don't.

As anti-antibiotic as I am, I was actually anxious to take this nasty pill. I could not wait to get rid of this sore throat. But, whoa! Maybe I should wait until morning to take it? You know, where if I have an allergic reaction I can call the doctor's office instead of hitting the ER.

My impatience won out, and I took the first evil-tasting dose and went about my business. A little bit later I had an itch on my stomach, and an ever-so-tiny little welt. NNOOOOOO!!!! It's starting! Then my hand itched, and then my foot, then my back and my hair, and here an itch, there an itch, everywhere an itch, itch, ITCH, and . . . PSYYYYCH!!! It was just those little everyday itches. No ulterior motives. It reminded me of how a bunch of moms start talking about lice and pretty soon they are all scratching their heads.

This morning I woke up soooo much better! Not good, but compared to how I woke up yesterday, it was practically a miracle. I took the second dose, making sure I ate first, as per directions, and...

So Far, So Good!

Dear Dr. K, thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!!!!

Day 4

Sorry to say, I am something of a connoisseur of sore throats, and this one is absolutely the sore throat from hell, complete with knives and fire. At least the headache hasn't made a re-appearance.

Yesterday I tried oil of oregano and GSE. Oh, and chocolate. Nothing made a dent, and what a waste of chocolate that was.

Today I am still doing the hourly gargle with one thing or another, and still spraying as much as I can stand. Not that anything helps.

On tap for today: a steaming bath, reflexology, Aleve, and more fervent pleas to the Great Physician. If I don't miraculously recover by tomorrow morning...the doctor it is. I am desperate!

Say AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!!!

I have the dubious distinction of playing host to the biggest, baddest sore throat on the planet. To borrow a phrase from the deadly departed Saddam Hussein, it is The Mother of all Sore Throats.

The last time I had this sore throat was, hmmm.... back in January. It was a just-shoot-me-now kind of sore throat, but it lasted only one day. Alas, it was followed by five solid weeks of rib-shattering coughing, but last Monday I noticed that the coughing had eased up quite a bit, so, even though my ribs were still sore, they were getting a break.

Tuesday my ill health took a Sabbatical while I worked a 14-hour day at the election, but yesterday, oh, my...

Yesterday the sore throat was back, with an edge, and instead of hanging out with D and the Princess and the Gingerbread Cookie, I spent the day trying out different cold/sore throat remedies:

• Tried-and-true hot water with honey and lemon. Check.
  
• Hot whiskey. Check.
  
• Salt water gargle. Check.
• Vicks. Check.
• Tea tree oil gargle. Check.
• Sore throat spray. Check.
• Hot tea. Check.
• Zinc lozenges. Check.
  
• Plain hot water. Check.
• Raw garlic. Really.

I tried them allll. Nothing touched it. It's a sore throat on steroids. I'd say the prize for the worst remedy was the tea tree oil gargle. Until I tried the garlic. Holy cow! That might have been the longest ten minutes of my life. It put tears in my eyes and fire in my mouth. If it had half the effect on the germs that it had on me...wow, the possibilities are endless. But no. Same old sore throat, and now I definitely need a new toothbrush.

That was yesterday.

Today, Round Two: Airborne, vinegar gargle, nutmeg tea, more Vicks, more hot tea. So far no good. I would have tried the dark Karo syrup gargle, but I don't have any of that, and I would have tried the neti pot, but I don't have any plain salt on hand, so those will be for tomorrow after a quick trip to the store.

So. Advice and suggestions welcome. I am willing to try anything. If anybody out there is working on any experimental drugs, I'm your guinea pig. For now, I am going to go to bed. At 8:30. Hardly proper.

If things don't improve around here, I may have to resort to my very last resort...GASP...the doctor...