TOOOOOO MUCH "INFORMATION"!!!!

Ok, so that's what I get for watching tv. Only I wasn't really watching it. I was hanging out in another room, within earshot of the offending commercial, held captive by a never-have-I-felt-so-much-pain-EVER ankle, injured when I stepped in a hole this afternoon.

It seemed perfectly ok at the time; I even walked on it back into the house to start the arnica protocol, and then went on to finish what I had been doing, after which I sat myself down with an ice pack and a book and elevated my foot. Only to my sad surprise, my ankle not only hasn't gotten any better, six hours later it is actively worse.

First it got harder impossible to walk, and then it progressed to no standing; at this point forget flexing, extending, rotating. In fact, forget even leaving it alone. There is no comfort for it in any position. I'm almost considering a trip to the ER, but I feel quite certain there will be no driving on that foot, especially not in a car with a standard transmission. Besides, I can suffer endlessly in my own home, just like I can in an ER, but for free and without the chance of getting SARS or swine flu or a staph infection or who-knows-what-other-ailment lurking about amongst the halt and the lame of a hospital "emergency" room.

So anyway. I was minding my own business in one room, not really paying attention to the murmuring pitter-patter of the television coming from the other room, when suddenly I heard a woman's voice shout, "Am I in MENOPAUSE? You bet I am!!!" Whooooaa!!!! And then, of all things, she started singing the praises of JACK IN THE BOX!!! You know, the hamburger joint.

"When I'm having hot flashes...." she began, and I can't really say what came next, because she pretty much lost me after that. Actually, Jack in the Box pretty much lost me after that one. Not that I go there with any degree of regularity whatsoever....Ok, ok, to be honest, on the survey I would have to check the "less often than once a year" box, but still. Now I'm going to have to check the "less often than less often than once a year" box.

I'm thinking this little episode basically documents what I have been increasingly afraid of the last few years, and getting worse all the time: There are no limits to indecency anymore, and no limits on where you might witness it. I would like, just once in awhile, to go someplace where I am not assaulted by somebody's perverse notions of open-minded self-expression.

In fact, as I'm writing this, I hear that the tv has moved on to a "sitcom" in which a group of men and women are talking about, what else, menopause. Sigh. Excuse me while I run crawl in and turn off the tv. I'm thinking I probably should have turned it off when I left the room, but I'm a hands-on watcher when it comes to tv, and I didn't think I had the endurance to hobble all the way across the room to turn it off in person. So now, well, here I go again. Like I said, that's what I get for watching tv.

Menopause...Jack in the Box...What can the connection possibly be???